i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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