Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
