I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
