I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
