first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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