he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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