these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
