i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
