I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
