let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
