yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
