I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
