we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
