They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Sober January is a disaster.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
