I can text with my tongue
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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