Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
