Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
splinters make it hard to masturbate
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
