you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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