i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
