why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Houston, we have a squirter
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Watching her eat just hurts me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
