Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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