that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
