Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
