Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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