doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
