Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
