I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
