adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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