oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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