I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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