You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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