Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
