I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
