I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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