I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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