ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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