now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
