She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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