TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
