all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
