Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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