Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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