cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
