so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
