I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Someone came in the potted fern
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
