He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize