I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
