i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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