Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
