Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
