you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
