I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
