You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
