ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's official drugs can't kill me
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
